Feeling Overwhelmed? Start with the Basics
The DBT PLEASE Skills
Have you ever noticed that everything feels a little harder when you're tired, hungry, stressed, or run down?
Maybe a small inconvenience suddenly feels like a huge problem. You snap at someone you care about, cry more easily, or feel overwhelmed by something you might normally be able to handle.
This doesn't mean you're "too sensitive" or bad at managing your emotions. Sometimes, our emotional reactions are influenced by what's happening in our bodies before the stressful moment even begins.
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), these are called vulnerability factors. While we can't always control what happens to us, we can take steps to care for ourselves and reduce some of these vulnerabilities.
That's where the PLEASE skills come in.
The PLEASE Skills
PL — Treat Physical Illness
Taking care of your physical health is an important part of taking care of your emotional health. This might mean making a doctor's appointment, taking medication as prescribed, or getting the rest you need when you're not feeling well.
E — Eat Balanced Meals
When we're hungry or haven't eaten enough, we may be more irritable, anxious, or easily overwhelmed. Eating regular, balanced meals helps give your body the fuel it needs to get through the day.
A — Avoid Mood-Altering Substances
Alcohol and other substances can affect our emotions, sleep, judgment, and ability to cope with stress. Pay attention to how substances affect your mood and whether they make difficult emotions harder to manage.
S — Get Balanced Sleep
When we're exhausted, it can be harder to manage frustration, think clearly, and respond thoughtfully. A consistent sleep routine can support emotional regulation and overall well-being.
E — Get Exercise
Movement can be a powerful way to support both physical and emotional health. Exercise doesn't have to mean going to the gym—a walk, stretching, dancing, or playing a favorite sport can all count.
Why Do the PLEASE Skills Matter?
The PLEASE skills aren't about preventing difficult emotions altogether. Life will still be stressful, and you'll still have hard days. Instead, these skills help you build a stronger foundation for handling whatever comes your way.
Think of it this way: If you're running on very little sleep, haven't eaten all day, and aren't feeling well, a stressful interaction might feel like the last straw. When your basic needs are being met, you may have more capacity to pause, problem-solve, and respond intentionally.
The next time you're feeling overwhelmed, try pausing before asking yourself, "What's wrong with me?"
Instead, try asking:
"Is there something I need?"
Sometimes, emotional regulation starts with the basics. Taking care of yourself won't solve every problem, but it can help you face life's challenges with a little more steadiness and self-compassion.
